A Positive Life

My son and I once rode an elephant at the Denver Zoo.  What started as a light-hearted adventure became a scary challenge as we climbed the stairway to reach the elephant’s back.  An elephant is huge!  I remembered this experience when I encountered Dr. Jonathan Haidt’s description of the human mind.  Attempting to make sense of his own disparate experiences, he imagined his mind being like a rider on an elephant.  Small rider.  Enormous animal.  Get the picture?  The rider is conscious, controlled thought; the elephant is everything else, all the essential automatic mental processes which are beyond our awareness.  This image helped Dr. Haidt understand why, when his rider wanted to lose a few pounds, it didn’t stop his elephant from walking into an ice cream parlor.  Let me explain their complicated relationship.

The elephant includes the lower regions of the brain which regulate our body systems and keep them operating efficiently.  The elephant is our excellent motor system that allows us to move smoothly from one activity to another.  It includes our emotions and the fight-flight-or-freeze response to danger.  The elephant is processing hundreds of thousands of signals from the environment each second, categorizing and prioritizing each one for relevance to our current situation, an amazing feat! 

The rider, unaware of the elephant’s phenomenal multi-tasking, has developed from the newer, outer parts of the brain.  Acting like the CEO of the mind, the rider communicates with language and has the ability to analyze, reason, plan ahead and make conscious choices.  We like to believe that our riders are in charge of our elephants, and most of the time the two operate in harmonious cooperation.  But elephants have their own agendas.  If the elephant perceives a threat or identifies an opportunity, it takes off, leaving the rider to interpret and be responsible for its actions.  This explains some embarrassing moments in our lives.  It also accounts for times we’ve narrowly escaped danger.  I appreciate my elephant whenever I do familiar tasks because sometimes my rider is preoccupied.  Occasionally I get into my car, then with no recollection of the trip, I’m startled to see that I’ve safely arrived at my destination! 

The rider on the elephant is a useful metaphor for the complex, multidimensional and interrelated aspects of our amazing minds.  The elephant, whose workload is monumental, deserves our understanding and respect.  Throughout our lifetime we continue to develop the skills and capabilities of the rider so it is an effective and intentional partner to the elephant.  Think of them as a team because together they are spectacular.

The pursuit of happiness is as American as apple pie.  The recipe for getting happy, however, is more elusive.  Based on media advertising, our pursuit seems focused on the consumption of goods, antidepressants, and food.  Is there a better recipe?

The new field of positive psychology offers a resouding yes.  Based on research compiled by psychologists Sonja Lyobomirsky, David Schkade and Ken Sheldon, the formula for enduring happiness is H = S + C + V.  It looks a little intimidating, but it's really quite simple.  Our happiness depends on three factors:  our emotional set point (S), our life circumstances (C) and the activities we voluntarily do (V).

These three elements are not equally weighted.  Half of our happiness is determined by S, our biologically fixed set point for mood.  Similar to our set point for weight, our genetic heritage predisposes us to be emotionally sunny-side up or sunny-side down.  While at times we move up or down the mood scale, we have a strong tendancy to revert back to our set point.  This is terrific if you were born with a cheery disposition.  If your family genes are on the sad and pessimistic side, don't despair.  There's good news coming.

The most surprising finding about this equation is that life circumstances (C) account for only 10 percent of our happiness.  It matters little whether we are weathy or poor, healthy or ill, married or unattached or in a job we like vs. one we don't.  While we might feel elated after winning the lottery or miserable after a devastating loss, eventually we'll revert to our set point (S) and therefore to our usual happiness level.  We like to believe that losing 10 pounds or inheriting a small fortune are the keys to bliss, but research shows otherwise.

The most important part of this formula is voluntary activities (V), those actions we undertake to make ourselves feel better.  V contributes 40 percent toward our happiness.  Even if you're stuck with a lousy set point, what you intentionally do can increase positive feelings and experiences and sustain greater life satisfaction.  Our actions, the recipe ingredient most within our control, significantly influence our sense of well-being. 

So what activities will help to promote enjoyment and flourishing?  Pay attention to what warms your heart, makes you giggle, or gives you a feeling of contentment.  Write those things down so you'll remember.  Cultivate and savor pleasant experiences often.  Make the most of your 40 percent!